No matter what has hurt you, there is a simple, YET POWERFUL, answer to your healing: FORGIVENESS.
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At this point in my life, I’ve learned not to underestimate two things: the depravity of man and the power of the Cross of Jesus. We’ve been leading the Forgiving Forward Ministry and Coaching people to freedom for 15 years and every time I think I’ve heard the worst story imaginable, I hear a story that boggles my mind with the atrocities human beings can inflict on other people. At the same time, I am constantly amazed at how the power of the Cross redeems man’s deepest depravity and sets them free. One of the latest examples is my new friend Steve.
Early Thanksgiving morning, all was quiet in the Sim’s household with Maverick, their aging golden retriever, sleeping beside Charlene’s hospice bed. Suddenly, at 3:45 AM, Maverick uncharacteristically jumped up and ran to Steve’s bed and nuzzled him awake. When Steve got up to check on Charlene, she breathed her last few breaths and flew into the arms of Jesus. In that moment Steve lost his wife and best friend and Forgiving Forward lost a dear friend and our most passionate team member.
Did you know that Forgiving Forward is now available in 6 different languages? It’s true! In addition to English, our book has been translated into Hebrew, Arabic, Spanish, Korean and our most recent translation, Russian. Each version has its own “God story” behind the translation process that would amaze you. We regularly hear reports of how the Forgiving Forward book is making an impact in people’s lives who would never be helped through the English edition. This story from Korea will bless you.
I have been asked, “How do you teach forgiveness to those who don’t believe in Jesus and who follow other religions?” My answer was this: “My friend Mike Wells used to say, ‘There is The Way and there is not the Way. Jesus is the Way and every other way is not The Way.’ I only have one bullet in my gun, it’s the Cross of Jesus. If someone won’t accept The Way (Jesus), who is the only Way, why would I give them another way that will lead them away from The Way? If they won’t accept the Cross of Jesus, I have nothing for them.”
Not long ago, I met a man who asked me the common introductory question, “What do you do?” After I shared with him a quick summary of Forgiving Forward, he said, “I wish you could meet with my son and daughter-in-law. They have been through several counselors, and nothing seems to help. The daughter-in-law now wants a divorce, and our son is confused and hurt. None of this makes sense to us. She recently said to him, ‘You’re meaner than my father!’” I responded. “It makes perfect sense to me. She is in torment because she has deep wounds from her father that she hasn’t forgiven.”
Each family member who spoke in court that day expressed a grace that can only be found in the Gospel. And the world noticed. While some criticized the decision to forgive so quickly, most people sat in awe of the families’ choice to forgive, and, for the most part, the Charleston community followed their lead. Instead of returning hate and anger with hate and anger, love and mercy prevailed. The result was a climate that allowed the massacre to be denounced by all sides while reasoned and gut-level conversations about racial division led to substantive dialog and decisions. Instead of a race war, actual healing and reconciliation took place.
One evening in our darkness and despair, Toni and I decided to get out of the house and take a walk around our neighborhood. It’s a 2-mile circular trek around a series of six cul-de-sacs. We were pretty quiet through the first two cul-de-sacs when one of us said, “God has not abandoned us. Where have we seen Him in all this mess? What have we seen Him do in us and for us in the last three months?” We began quietly recounting all the ways our gracious Lord had revealed Himself to us, sustained us, delivered us, provided for us, and worked in us in the three months since everything began to fall apart. For the rest of our walk, we took turns reminding each other of God’s goodness to us in a period of time when people had not been. With each memory, our hearts got lighter as our praise began to drive out the darkness.
I thought about those conversations in downtown OKC this week as I listened to news of the horrific murders of nineteen children and two teachers at the Robb Elementary School in Uvalde, Texas. One of the things that struck me as I listened to all the media’s reports and commentary is that the questions haven’t changed. “How could this happen, and what can we do about it?” Each time an event like this occurs, politicians, pundits, and ordinary people argue back and forth about the why and offer various iterations of ideas that will never provide hope for effective change. Why can’t we fix this?