The Lord's prayer is one of the most well-known passages of scripture worldwide. Many Christian traditions recite the Lord's prayer daily as part of their liturgy. One would be hard-pressed to find someone who hasn't recited or heard the Lord's prayer at some point in their life. But it’s interesting to me how often people miss what Jesus is actually instructing us to pray in this model prayer.

There is one clause in the Lord's prayer that Jesus attaches a condition to, and it involves forgiveness. We have found most people are surprised to learn that the condition is the exact opposite of what we would expect. If I were to predict the condition about forgiveness that Jesus would ask us to pray in a model prayer, it would be something like this: “Lord, help me forgive others the way you have forgiven me,” but it is the exact opposite of that. What Jesus is actually telling us to pray is, “Dear Heavenly Father, please use the standard I use in dealing with the people who wound me as the standard you use to relate to me.” You wouldn’t believe how many confused looks I get when I point this out to people. Why? Why are people so surprised when they realize that God ties how we forgive others with how He relates to us? The answer lies in understanding why God created us and why He redeemed us.

There are certain wounds that are more painful to endure and process than others. Adultery is the deepest form of betrayal within a marriage and leaves devastating wounds in the heart of the victimized spouse that makes forgiveness seem impossible. Conventional wisdom says that even if forgiveness is possible for an unfaithful spouse, recovering from it will take years. But conventional wisdom rarely considers the Cross.