Each family member who spoke in court that day expressed a grace that can only be found in the Gospel. And the world noticed. While some criticized the decision to forgive so quickly, most people sat in awe of the families’ choice to forgive, and, for the most part, the Charleston community followed their lead. Instead of returning hate and anger with hate and anger, love and mercy prevailed. The result was a climate that allowed the massacre to be denounced by all sides while reasoned and gut-level conversations about racial division led to substantive dialog and decisions. Instead of a race war, actual healing and reconciliation took place.

In every movie about forgiveness that I have seen, at some point in the storyline, the main character struggling with forgiving reaches a crisis point. Standing at the end of a dock or in the woods or alone in a room, they scream in desperation, “I don’t know how to forgive!”, or something to that effect. The scene shifts to one in which the character, having forgiven, is now at peace. What we don’t see is HOW he forgave. Specifically, what did he do? The how is important. Wanting to forgive is not the same as choosing to forgive.

There are certain abiding principles that we must continually reaffirm in our daily lives, particularly at the dawn of a new year. One of those key principles is Abiding: staying constantly connected and desperately dependent on Jesus. Abiding in Christ is recognizing that we bring nothing to the table except our nothing and our faith.

Jesus came to us, sent by His Father, because we couldn’t get to Him. Unredeemed mankind is incapable of living righteous enough to settle their sin debt or conquer their sin nature. We could never defeat sin... ever! So, He came to live among us so that, through His death and resurrection, He might come to live in us. The way He lived among us is how we live His Life in us… constantly connected to and desperately dependent on Him as we wait for Him to come again.

Brad and Molly came to us in crisis. Three weeks earlier Molly had discovered Brad’s pornography addiction and his multiple affairs, including Molly’s best friend, Brad’s best friend’s wife and prostitutes. She was shocked. A couple of days after the initial confrontation, Brad picked up his Bible. As he began to read something inside him broke. For two hours he tearfully read the Bible and, for the first time, understood the grace of God and the forgiveness provided for him through the blood of the cross. He was dramatically transformed. Heart cleansed. Desires changed.

The blood of Jesus covers all sins including the ones committed against me and true forgiveness is applying the blood of Jesus as payment in full for every wound I ever have or will suffer. Oftentimes we get confused because we categorize offenses. It's a business offense. It's a personal offense. It's a family offense. It's a neighborhood offense. So we've got clusters of categories of offenses, but really offenses are offenses!

The key is not our activity, the key is our focus. Andrew Murray said, “When Christ becomes our focus, everything changes.” By focusing on the presence of Jesus, our lives begin to reflect our new and true identity as He lives out in us what He had made us to be. We no longer work for God, God works through us. (Philippians 2:13) This may or may not change our activity level, but it will, however, change our effectiveness and stress level. Taylor later wrote to his sister, “As to work – mine was never so plentiful, so responsible or so difficult, but the weight and strain are all gone.”

When we are faced with sorrow, grief, uncertainty, suffering, and pain, the way to respond that is most fitting for a disciple of Jesus is to surrender to His will and to die to ours. Jesus is showing us how to agree to His plan and give up ours. When I yield and pray, “Father, glorify Your name in and through me in this situation. Reveal Yourself. Lord let me see You.” I experience peace amidst the sorrow. I find myself filled with strength and hope knowing that God will glorify Himself in my life.

The good news of Easter is this: Jesus died when His blood flowed out of Him on the Cross. When we put our faith in Him, His blood pours out over us, washing away our sin. As His blood flows through us, we are empowered to live His life. There truly is transforming power in the blood of Jesus!

For the next hour I coached Tom through the Forgiveness Protocols wound by wound, person by person. The tears flowed as the chains of unforgiveness were broken and fell away. When we finished the last “Is the Holy Spirit bringing anything else to you now?” question, and he answered “no,” I asked him how he felt. He replied, “I feel so light I could fly! I feel like thousands of pounds of old chains are gone and I can breathe!”

Forgiving Forward exists to help people experience the freedom of the Gospel through the power of forgiveness. We believe that unforgiveness is one of the most significant hindrances to people experiencing the Life Jesus died to give us. God expects forgiven people to forgive others, but we find that most people who need to forgive need help doing that. One of the things that makes Forgiving Forward unique is our emphasis on equipping people to help others to forgive.

In the course of the conversation I was able to coach him to forgive several deep wounds from his past. The transformation in his eyes and in his countenance was remarkable. I was then able to help him see himself the way God sees him and to coach him on how to love his wife even if she chooses to go through with the divorce.

Jesus viewed people as more important than their failures. He never treated His enemies as enemies. Jesus loves people and He hates sin, but His love for people is greater than His hatred is for their sin. In fact, He hates our sin so much that He died in order to separate us from our sin so He could restore us to relationship with Him and His Father. There is no sin that we can bring to Jesus to which He will say, “I didn’t cover that one.” He covered them all.

Join us and resolve to navigate the transition into the New Year by focusing on Jesus and forgiving everything. We invite you to pray this with us each morning throughout 2021: "Lord, be our focus throughout every day so that we see Your hand in everything that we encounter. Jesus, because your Blood is enough for us, we choose now to forgive every wound we may suffer today."

We all have these people from our past who wounded us, sometimes severely. When it is a non-family member, it seems simple- just cut them out of your life and stuff the wound. You know, fugetaboutit! But when someone in your family hurts you, it’s a different story. Those wounds run deep! How do you enjoy (rather than endure) the holiday when you know that the offending party will show up?

I jokingly often say the only people who don't need what we teach are the ones who've never been wounded. So if you've been wounded, you probably have a forgiveness struggle, because when we get hurt we want people to pay. Somebody has got to make it right. It's so hard for people to grab a hold of that. I also think there's a lot of confusion that circles around what forgiveness is and what it isn't. We've addressed that in other questions that we've answered in other ways, but forgiveness is basically applying the blood of Jesus as payment in full for every wound I ever have or will suffer. It's recognizing that the debt that was incurred by the wound has already been paid.

The moment we forgive, the discipline ends because God's discipline for us is not punishment. It is there to bring us to rethink, to change our mind, to get us to a new understanding of the blood of Jesus and how it covers our sin. When we honor the blood by applying it to what has wounded us, then the reason for the torment is over. The discipline is gone.

As Christ followers, we have infinite reasons to be thankful. Let me encourage you to shift your eyes away from the chaos of 2020 and instead focus on the truths that we are saved, sanctified, sealed, secured, and sustained by the blood of Jesus on the Cross and the power of the Holy Spirit for the glory of the Father.

Well, my responsibility is to own my sin, basically to recognize the wounding and the pain that I've inflicted upon someone and own it and change my mind about it. Repentance. When you talk about reconciliation, you have to have both forgiveness and repentance. Repentance does not mean to change your behavior. It means to change your mind, which will ultimately change your behavior. Repentance is metanoia: to change your mind. So my responsibility is to recognize and confess what I did was wrong, confess it to God, and then go see what I can do to make it right. There's a passage where Jesus, in the Sermon on the Mount, in Matthew 5 says, "If therefore, you are offering your gift on the altar and you remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother, then come and offer your gift.”

Families and friendships are being shattered by the uncivil discourse of the political divide. It is safe to say that half the voters will be unhappy, some extremely so, with the outcome. It is inevitable. There are reports that extremists on both sides are threatening unrest and violence if their prospective candidate loses. As Christ followers, after we have voted, what is our response to be, regardless of the outcome? Here are four Biblical mindsets to consider in the aftermath of the election.