Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil;

Who substitute darkness for light and light for darkness;

Who substitute bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter!

Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes

And clever in their own sight!

Isaiah 5:20-21

It often seems that we’re living in an alternate universe with the world upside down and spinning in the opposite direction. There has been a seismic shift in our culture as what God’s Word says is wrong is now declared right, and what God’s Word says is right is now declared wrong. How did this happen? We rise and fall on our definitions because whoever defines the terms wins the debate. We are experiencing the erosion of moral clarity as Biblical terms have been slowly unhitched from their Scriptural context and redefined in ways that don’t resemble what God intended.

A prime example of this redefinition push is the meaning of the word “love.” We are told that love requires full acceptance of a person, including their behavior, and that to reject a behavior is to reject the person and is therefore (another redefinition) “hate.” To speak against immorality is now considered hate speech. Unfortunately, Christian leaders have fallen into this trap, and the church is surrendering its authority to speak against sin in the name of love. It seems the goal of many is now to make people feel comfortable in their sin rather than leading them to repent of their sin.

In his classic work, The Knowledge of the Holy, A W Tozer declared, “The low view of God entertained almost universally among Christians is the cause of a hundred lesser evils everywhere among us.” The world’s culture, by nature, doesn’t value God or recognize His authority. They don’t know Him. Could it be that those of us who know Him, have been redeemed by Him and have experienced life in Him, have allowed our view of God to be diminished by those who don’t know Him? Have we replaced the fear of God with the fear of man, and so doing, have made man our idol? Tozer goes on to say:

“Among the sins to which the human heart is prone, hardly any other is more hateful to God than idolatry, for idolatry is at bottom a libel on His character. The idolatrous heart assumes that God is other than He is—in itself a monster sin—and substitutes for the true God, one made after His own likeness. Always this God will conform to the image of the one who created it and will be base or pure, cruel, or kind, according to the moral state of the mind from which it emerges…The essence of idolatry is the entertainment of thoughts about God that are unworthy of Him.”

Whenever we downsize God, we upsize ourselves and replace our worship of God with the worship of man. People’s feelings become more important than God's standards, which must now be redefined or eliminated. The holiness of God must then yield to the emotions of man. This can only lead to chaos.

Recently, I came across an article by Mike Wells that speaks to this issue. Although he was specifically referencing parents, His balanced wisdom extends to the broader context at hand. Here is an extended excerpt from Mike’s article:

I was speaking in South Africa about homosexuality in a manner that, in my opinion, was a balanced view. A pastor came up after the teaching and said, "I gave nearly the exact sermon one year ago to my church of 2,000, and today I am unemployed."

I responded, "Yes, and let me tell you who ran you out of the church: the mothers of all the gays." He looked shocked and said, "Yes! But why?"

"Their identity is foremost in their children, not in Christ. They choose their mothering instinct over God. You were sunk when you said anything negative to mothers who have their identity tied up in their children. Criticizing the child seemed tantamount to condemning the mother, and hence the forceful reaction."

Remember, there are no second-generation believers. God must bring the situations forcing a child to choose. You have very little to do with that. In short, get over your pride and glory, move out of the way, and let God work!

Having said all that, what are we to do when we see a child living in sin? As in every area of life, when we do not know where to go or where to hide, we must hide in the truth, for there we will find Christ, the Truth. Tell the truth to your child about how living with the opposite sex (outside of marriage) or the same sex is sin, period. It is not your judgment but the judgment of God. Too many parents make sin comfortable for their children, but any time the easy way is chosen today, a harder choice will be waiting ahead for later. Choose the easy way, and one day the child will stand before God with no mother or father interceding, and when God speaks, no one speaks back.

If I hear the following statement one more time, I think I will go mad. "Well, our daughter is living with a man, and we have decided just to LOVE them." Let us put that statement in perspective. What one really is saying is, "I am attached to my child more than I am attached to God. I could not stand to lose the child, so I am playing the 'love' card to keep him near and to keep the Bible from judging my passive participation in his sin, which will condemn him."

A very worldly progression of reasoning goes something like this: "God is love. Love is unconditional. Love is acceptance. Acceptance is unconditional. If you do not accept the behavior, you do not love and are a person of hate." No! God is love, period, not "unconditional" love, which puts an addition to love. No, God is love. Love is why the world is not destroyed. I have a hard time wrapping my head around this, but God does love a pedophile, for the center of love is not a behavior but our God. Wow! However, God's acceptance is separate from love. He does not accept all behavior, and one behavior that is anti-God is living with someone other than a spouse. There are too many "ifs" in the Bible. God is love, period. He will be Love to every sinner until the end of that one's days. He is not unconditional acceptance. People do go to hell.

So, what is there to do if a child is living with another? We tell him it is sin on several levels. Males and females are experiencing something meant to be reserved for marriage. Paul even says that one would offend his brother by having sex with someone he is not going to marry. Gays are experiencing something stupid. Yes, yes, I know all the causes, and I work on that level with Christians who struggle in order to support them. As I said to a Christian leader who struggled with homosexuality, "I would rather struggle with the temptation of homosexuality and be driven to Christ in humility and brokenness than never to struggle." Those persons are much different from the ones actively engaging in those acts and believing them to be the way. We are never to judge, for only the judgments of the Lord are true, and He has made His judgment that fornication and homosexuality are sin. We stand with Him and confront our loved ones with the Truth. Next, we must treat them as we would any other couple living in sin. We would treat them like our neighbors who are living in sin. We love, we share, we are available, and we do not reject them. Remember, though, we must always tell the truth as mentioned above. Truth can make others cut themselves off from us; we do not cut ourselves off from sinners. I say this to help prepare for the day we might be cut off because of telling our children the truth.

Again, Love is not unconditional. Love is love; do not add a term to it. Acceptance is conditional. Many refuse the sword brought by the Lord by saying what sounds so very spiritual, "We are just going to love our gay son." Yes, we must love all, or the love of God is not in us. However, we should never allow love to be used as an excuse to accept a wicked behavior. Tell the truth and let truth land where it will. Many well-meaning and hurting parents have accepted their children, but they cannot act in love while accepting behaviors that kill a person. It will not work. Love the person and do not accept the sin. Love and acceptance are two words that have been blended for the sake of compromise. I have been amazed at the demands made by children that their behavior and decisions be accepted. No! They must bend and accept our convictions in Christ. When coming to your home, they are not to sleep together, the "gay" (my, what a fabrication that term is) couple is not invited to Christmas to gaze at each other in lust, hold hands, and make the rest of the family miserable as they press their deceptive point of having found happiness. Kill the snake in the egg. If they want to come to your house, they will sleep in separate bedrooms, and overt sin is not tolerated. After all, it is your home. In all this, the love of God comes. It is good for a child to know that when he is sinning, the parents disapprove. It takes a good bit out of the "passing pleasure" of sin. Remember, God gave the fulfillment of the law when He gave His Son. In a like manner, we can clarify the law through offering the Son. Do not be undone, for God is at work.

(My Weakness for His Strength, Volume 2, Day 158)

Chip Ingram defines love as “giving someone what they need most when they deserve it the least at great personal sacrifice.” What people need most is not affirmation of their sinful behavior, they need freedom from it. They need Jesus and the forgiveness He purchased for them on the Cross. The only requirement to access that forgiveness is repentance, i.e. confessing our sin and yielding to Him. Could it be that what is now called “loving them” is actually the most hateful thing we can do for them because it keeps them from Jesus?

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