At this point in my life, I’ve learned not to underestimate two things: the depravity of man and the power of the Cross of Jesus. We’ve been leading the Forgiving Forward Ministry and Coaching people to freedom for 15 years and every time I think I’ve heard the worst story imaginable, I hear a story that boggles my mind with the atrocities human beings can inflict on other people. At the same time, I am constantly amazed at how the power of the Cross redeems man’s deepest depravity and sets them free. One of the latest examples is my new friend Steve.

Early Thanksgiving morning, all was quiet in the Sim’s household with Maverick, their aging golden retriever, sleeping beside Charlene’s hospice bed. Suddenly, at 3:45 AM, Maverick uncharacteristically jumped up and ran to Steve’s bed and nuzzled him awake. When Steve got up to check on Charlene, she breathed her last few breaths and flew into the arms of Jesus. In that moment Steve lost his wife and best friend and Forgiving Forward lost a dear friend and our most passionate team member.

Did you know that Forgiving Forward is now available in 6 different languages? It’s true! In addition to English, our book has been translated into Hebrew, Arabic, Spanish, Korean and our most recent translation, Russian. Each version has its own “God story” behind the translation process that would amaze you. We regularly hear reports of how the Forgiving Forward book is making an impact in people’s lives who would never be helped through the English edition. This story from Korea will bless you.

I have been asked, “How do you teach forgiveness to those who don’t believe in Jesus and who follow other religions?” My answer was this: “My friend Mike Wells used to say, ‘There is The Way and there is not the Way. Jesus is the Way and every other way is not The Way.’ I only have one bullet in my gun, it’s the Cross of Jesus. If someone won’t accept The Way (Jesus), who is the only Way, why would I give them another way that will lead them away from The Way? If they won’t accept the Cross of Jesus, I have nothing for them.”

Not long ago, I met a man who asked me the common introductory question, “What do you do?” After I shared with him a quick summary of Forgiving Forward, he said, “I wish you could meet with my son and daughter-in-law. They have been through several counselors, and nothing seems to help. The daughter-in-law now wants a divorce, and our son is confused and hurt. None of this makes sense to us. She recently said to him, ‘You’re meaner than my father!’” I responded. “It makes perfect sense to me. She is in torment because she has deep wounds from her father that she hasn’t forgiven.”

Each family member who spoke in court that day expressed a grace that can only be found in the Gospel. And the world noticed. While some criticized the decision to forgive so quickly, most people sat in awe of the families’ choice to forgive, and, for the most part, the Charleston community followed their lead. Instead of returning hate and anger with hate and anger, love and mercy prevailed. The result was a climate that allowed the massacre to be denounced by all sides while reasoned and gut-level conversations about racial division led to substantive dialog and decisions. Instead of a race war, actual healing and reconciliation took place.

One evening in our darkness and despair, Toni and I decided to get out of the house and take a walk around our neighborhood. It’s a 2-mile circular trek around a series of six cul-de-sacs. We were pretty quiet through the first two cul-de-sacs when one of us said, “God has not abandoned us. Where have we seen Him in all this mess? What have we seen Him do in us and for us in the last three months?” We began quietly recounting all the ways our gracious Lord had revealed Himself to us, sustained us, delivered us, provided for us, and worked in us in the three months since everything began to fall apart. For the rest of our walk, we took turns reminding each other of God’s goodness to us in a period of time when people had not been. With each memory, our hearts got lighter as our praise began to drive out the darkness.

I thought about those conversations in downtown OKC this week as I listened to news of the horrific murders of nineteen children and two teachers at the Robb Elementary School in Uvalde, Texas. One of the things that struck me as I listened to all the media’s reports and commentary is that the questions haven’t changed. “How could this happen, and what can we do about it?” Each time an event like this occurs, politicians, pundits, and ordinary people argue back and forth about the why and offer various iterations of ideas that will never provide hope for effective change. Why can’t we fix this?

Jesus came to us, sent by His Father, because we couldn’t get to Him. Unredeemed mankind is incapable of living righteous enough to settle their sin debt or conquer their sin nature. We could never defeat sin... ever! So, He came to live among us so that, through His death and resurrection, He might come to live in us. The way He lived among us is how we live His Life in us… constantly connected to and desperately dependent on Him as we wait for Him to come again.

Brad and Molly came to us in crisis. Three weeks earlier Molly had discovered Brad’s pornography addiction and his multiple affairs, including Molly’s best friend, Brad’s best friend’s wife and prostitutes. She was shocked. A couple of days after the initial confrontation, Brad picked up his Bible. As he began to read something inside him broke. For two hours he tearfully read the Bible and, for the first time, understood the grace of God and the forgiveness provided for him through the blood of the cross. He was dramatically transformed. Heart cleansed. Desires changed.

Well, my responsibility is to own my sin, basically to recognize the wounding and the pain that I've inflicted upon someone and own it and change my mind about it. Repentance. When you talk about reconciliation, you have to have both forgiveness and repentance. Repentance does not mean to change your behavior. It means to change your mind, which will ultimately change your behavior. Repentance is metanoia: to change your mind. So my responsibility is to recognize and confess what I did was wrong, confess it to God, and then go see what I can do to make it right. There's a passage where Jesus, in the Sermon on the Mount, in Matthew 5 says, "If therefore, you are offering your gift on the altar and you remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother, then come and offer your gift.”

What are the Protocols of Forgiveness? Why do we call them protocols rather than steps? What do they actually mean? Forgiveness is not a process, it's a transaction.

What if I'm able to forgive others, but I can't seem to forgive myself? Dr. Bruce and Toni Hebel answer this question and more in this video!

There are certain wounds that are more painful to endure and process than others. Adultery is the deepest form of betrayal within a marriage and leaves devastating wounds in the heart of the victimized spouse that makes forgiveness seem impossible. Conventional wisdom says that even if forgiveness is possible for an unfaithful spouse, recovering from it will take years. But conventional wisdom rarely considers the Cross.

Recently a couple came to us as a last resort. The wife had lost all hope and they were clearly heading for a divorce. As my wife and I worked with these two hurting people, we begin to recognize the telltale signs of unforgiveness. We helped them to discover the deep wounds from their childhood, their past relationships and from each other that were tormenting them both. As we walked them individually through the protocols of forgiveness, we witnessed two unbelievable transformations. They were set free! They were arm in arm as they walked to their car. Their marriage was restored through the power of forgiveness.

The insufficiency of the animal sacrifices gives way to the sufficiency of the Lamb of God who was slain from the foundation of the world. As we reflect on these High Holy Days of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, let’s celebrate that the ultimate Day Of Atonement was accomplished over 2000 years ago on an old rugged Cross where the spotless Lamb of God was slain for the sin of the world. It never has to be repeated!

Jesus Christ himself identifies with that because when he forgave it cost him greatly. And so, no, it's not OK. But, forgiveness does say that it was already paid for. They don't owe me anything because Jesus already paid for their sins against me.

Faith is the confident and active understanding that God is love and, in His sovereignty, governs everything for His glory and our good. David began to live by faith as a young boy as he shepherded his family’s sheep. On separate occasions, a bear and a lion threatened the flock and David killed both of them with his bare hands. Quite a heroic conquest for young man! David understood full well who it was who actually won the battle. As he recounted the story to Saul in 1st Samuel 17:37, David said “the Lord who delivered me from the paw of the lion and the paw of the bear he will deliver me from the hand of this Philistine.”

Sometimes we find ourselves angry, bitter, and upset without really understanding why. The answer, according to scripture, is oftentimes because we are harboring unforgiveness in our hearts. Toni and I wanted to share some of our story and how it manifested in our lives with you, in the hopes that you could learn to recognize unforgiveness, and in turn choose to forgive immediately - leading to a lifetime of joy and peace, no matter the circumstances.

Forgiveness is a transaction. It's receiving the blood of Jesus as payment in full for every wound I ever have or ever will suffer.